A Gaining Resurrection

There are plenty of stories of gainers trying out weight gain, hitting some kind of barrier, and then losing the weight — only to return to gaining later and becoming fatter than ever. It’s time for one more. I want to quickly trace my history with gaining before explaining how the gaining itch pulled me in a second time.

Why did I gain the first time?

I’ve been fascinated with gaining since I hit puberty, but it’s allure always felt like fantasy when I was a kid who lived at home. Once I moved out and gained some steady income and distance from judgmental eyes, the fantasy became an attainable goal.

I gained from 150 lbs to 230 lbs, typically weighing in at 220 lbs thereafter. It felt like a dream, unreal and delightful.

What did I stop gaining?

But gaining isn’t always so simple, and so it was with me. I described three reasons for my gaining fatigue in a journal entry:

1. Social Pressure

I was insufficiently dispassionate when it came to the social pressures surrounding gaining. Without getting too personal, there were a few people who were mildly critical in a way that warped my self-perception.

2. Health

I did not exercise regularly as I gained the first time, nor was I particularly good about eating a varied diet. I blame these things for becoming nearly pre-diabetic at the height of my previous gaining attempt. This was enough to stifle my enthusiasm, essentially dooming me to plateau at 220 lbs for over a year and a half.

3. Food Fatigue

But neither social pressure nor health would have changed my weight if it weren’t for my problems with eating. As I mentioned, my diet was too bland. I relied on too many easy meals and gainer shakes to make my weight stay on. And eventually I got sick of having to pound back unpleasant shakes on the daily.
So I didn’t. And the weight slid off. At first, I liked the change. I physically felt better, and eating sporadically was so convenient. But after two years…

Why did I gain the second time?

I did not resume my journey with a decision to return to my old weight and beyond. My initial decision was merely to cut loose and eat like I wanted to for a while. I was 157 lbs, and I felt too skinny. Maybe I’d gain 20 or 30 lbs and I would feel more attractive again. I underestimated how right I was. Within a year, I had gained 50 lbs. And since then an additional 15 to 20 lbs, putting me comfortably above my old plateau of 220 lbs.

I love gaining weight and getting fatter. It’s an ingrained part of who I am, and I am ready to work for it.

What’s different now?

When I gained this time, I made two key changes: regular exercise and no gainer supplements.
The first has left me feeling more physically fit even after a rather quick change in size. I’ve periodically measured my A1C, and it looks like I’m dodging pre-diabetes effectively despite returning to close to my old highest weight. 

The second has increased my enjoyment of gaining. I’m getting into making smoothies and malts. I’m baking. I’m expanding my repertoire of filling vegetarian meals (not because I don’t eat meat, but because vegetarian meals rock). For me, gaining isn’t merely about size, but about becoming the kind of guy who naturally wants to eat enough to maintain that size. Bite by bite, I’m getting there.

(Note that if gainer supplements work for you, more power to you. We all have to adjust for our individual tastes and bodies.)

Conclusion

Whether through impatience or lack of maturity, I made some mistakes the first time I gained that amounted to failure. But the skinny lifestyle got old. Not eating was sad. I didn’t feel attractive to the point that I nearly stopped taking pictures of myself.

But all of that is changing. I’m ballooning right back up and I love it.