What Normal People Hear Vs. What Gainers Hear

"I hope these shorts make me look fat."

In no particular order, every day sayings translated into the language of the gainer. On the left, you'll see the usual form, and on the right, what a gainer hears. These are sayings fattened during translation:

• Serving size — Recommended minimum
• Milk — Better water
• Ice cream — Better milk
• You look fat — You look great
• You look thin — You should eat something
• Have you put on weight? — Damn, you got fat
• Are you doing okay? — What made you get so fat?
• Alcohol — Beer belly fuel
• Your shirt is a little tight — You look sexy
• Fat guys are gross — I should be institutionalized
• Buddy, you should watch the cake — Eat more cake
• Love handles — Love handles
• Fast food — Growing food
• You’re not fat — You need to put on weight
• You’re too fat — You’re almost fat enough
• I let myself go — I worked hard to get this fat
• I’m watching my weight — I’m considering losing weight, but I’m probably getting fatter
• Are you working out? — You look fatter.
• Calories listed on the menu board — What's the fattest I can get for under $7.50?
• Nutrition facts — Clues as to what meal is the most fattening
• Size M underwear fit waist sizes 32-34 — Challenge accepted