Tight Clothes: Thoughts on Gainer Actualization
Many gainers have the fantasy of absentmindedly putting on a shirt and going out in public only to realize it's far too small, exposing one's belly to plain sight (and to the jokes of others) - or proudly showing off one's belly in a taut button-down, only to have one of the buttons fly off after a hearty meal. Regardless of the details, many gainers love the idea of wearing tight clothes in public.
In practice, however, we are usually more timid. Perhaps you have worn a tight shirt and felt sweaty, self-consciousness, and judged.
As I was told by another gainer, that in order to best become the big guy I imagined, I had to think of myself as a fat guy trapped in a thin body. He wasn't talking merely about the power of positive thinking. By changing your perception of yourself, you're participating in a valuable form of self-actualization.
For the purpose of this discussion, the fancy-sounding idea of self-actualization simply means reaching your full potential. This idea is typically applied professionally, spiritually, or emotionally, but for gainers, it is a physical realization: that is, getting as fat as we are "meant" to be.
My argument is that to reach your desired physical potential, there are areas of growth that aren't compatible with a measuring tape - areas that you must contend with.
Change Your Relationship with Food
Track your calories, push yourself to increase your capacity - all the usual advice applies, but what makes gaining sustainable isn't pure knowledge of its mechanics (overeat = get fat). It's a change of perspective on food itself. When I was thin, I used to inwardly mock people who turned up to special events just because there was free food. I went so far to write a descriptive poem to express my inability to comprehend the love of food. And even after I decided I needed to put on some weight (I was 135 lbs and 6'4"), I went in with reservations:
Let Go of Thin
If you've always been thin, this one can be tough. Modern beauty standards say that thinner is better. (The dieting industry is a massive sore upon proper understanding of nutrition.) Many lovely people lose weight for many reasons, but the underlying pressure of society is at least a subconscious calculation. Best of luck to them, but for us, weight loss is a tool to maintain health, not to become our ideal selves.
If you've always been thin, you might fear that you're giving up your good looks for a sexual fantasy.
Let me say first of all, if you're a gainer, that is never going to change. You may have to moderate your weight for work or health, but the desire to be bigger will always be a part of you. Don't let yourself rationalize staying thin if you have the opportunity to grow into the fat version of yourself you know is possible.
Thin and fat do not lie on a spectrum of morality, idealism, or quality. They are simply body descriptions. You are not a worse person at any weight. Sure, bad things might lead you a certain weight (eating disorders, for example, can make you thin or fat). But the weight itself is morally neutral.
Don't trick yourself into thinking thin is better. It isn't. Nor is it worse. It merely is. It is not a step down to become fat. It's a step toward the truest version of yourself.
Wear Tight Clothes
I opened this post talking about wearing tight clothes in public. It's not just a pleasant fantasy, it's a part of letting go of your fears and accepting who you are.
Let me clarify, I'm not arguing for wearing clothes so tight that your gut hangs by default:
But shirts like the one below, while they may make you feel self-conscious at first, are a valuable tool toward realizing your physical potential:
The fact is, most people aren't observant, and those who are just don't care. And if they did, what would happen? They'd give you a dirty look? Even in this worst case scenario, you can find validation in this judgment, and work on projecting the confidence that you need to make your gaining experience the best possible.
And that is my keyword for this point: confidence. You have to perceive yourself not as a thin guy who doesn't know how to dress. You're a fat guy who's growing into his body, and it's only natural that he looks chubby in his clothes. Push yourself to recognize who you are, because once you see yourself as a fat man, it becomes much easier to show the world that you are a fat man.
Is That It?
Of course not, there are plenty of things to learn on your gaining journey. But until you embrace what makes you fat, let go of the alternative, and show off your hard work, you'll be held back from creating your truest self in both your consciousness, and in real life.
We have the pleasure and the burden of being unable to change to our ideal self without hard work. We can't hide what we're up to, only our motives. As you continue to grapple with how big you want to be, remember to enjoy it. Eat some good food, throw on a tight shirt now and then.
You're a growing guy. It's not merely okay to show it, but it's best that you do.
In practice, however, we are usually more timid. Perhaps you have worn a tight shirt and felt sweaty, self-consciousness, and judged.
As I was told by another gainer, that in order to best become the big guy I imagined, I had to think of myself as a fat guy trapped in a thin body. He wasn't talking merely about the power of positive thinking. By changing your perception of yourself, you're participating in a valuable form of self-actualization.
For the purpose of this discussion, the fancy-sounding idea of self-actualization simply means reaching your full potential. This idea is typically applied professionally, spiritually, or emotionally, but for gainers, it is a physical realization: that is, getting as fat as we are "meant" to be.
My argument is that to reach your desired physical potential, there are areas of growth that aren't compatible with a measuring tape - areas that you must contend with.
Track your calories, push yourself to increase your capacity - all the usual advice applies, but what makes gaining sustainable isn't pure knowledge of its mechanics (overeat = get fat). It's a change of perspective on food itself. When I was thin, I used to inwardly mock people who turned up to special events just because there was free food. I went so far to write a descriptive poem to express my inability to comprehend the love of food. And even after I decided I needed to put on some weight (I was 135 lbs and 6'4"), I went in with reservations:
I have to eat more. As much as this loathes me, I shall make an attempt. Today I put butter on my bagel and ate seconds at dinner. A website I discovered in my research insists that skinny guys eat a lot less than they think. This is probably the case with me. (April 20, 2010)I was partially successful, and by September, 2014, I weighed 165 pounds. I decided to eat more and begin using gainer shakes. As I quickly packed on 40 pounds that fall and winter, I began to realize how much I was missing out on by not loving food. Gaining was supposed to be fun, and giving food a chance made it fun.
Let Go of Thin
If you've always been thin, this one can be tough. Modern beauty standards say that thinner is better. (The dieting industry is a massive sore upon proper understanding of nutrition.) Many lovely people lose weight for many reasons, but the underlying pressure of society is at least a subconscious calculation. Best of luck to them, but for us, weight loss is a tool to maintain health, not to become our ideal selves.
If you've always been chubby, you may wonder if you'd get more suitors if you made yourself into that idealized thin man that underwear commercials and Jake Gyllenhaal movies planted in your mind.
If you've always been thin, you might fear that you're giving up your good looks for a sexual fantasy.
Let me say first of all, if you're a gainer, that is never going to change. You may have to moderate your weight for work or health, but the desire to be bigger will always be a part of you. Don't let yourself rationalize staying thin if you have the opportunity to grow into the fat version of yourself you know is possible.
Thin and fat do not lie on a spectrum of morality, idealism, or quality. They are simply body descriptions. You are not a worse person at any weight. Sure, bad things might lead you a certain weight (eating disorders, for example, can make you thin or fat). But the weight itself is morally neutral.
Don't trick yourself into thinking thin is better. It isn't. Nor is it worse. It merely is. It is not a step down to become fat. It's a step toward the truest version of yourself.
Wear Tight Clothes
I opened this post talking about wearing tight clothes in public. It's not just a pleasant fantasy, it's a part of letting go of your fears and accepting who you are.
Let me clarify, I'm not arguing for wearing clothes so tight that your gut hangs by default:
But shirts like the one below, while they may make you feel self-conscious at first, are a valuable tool toward realizing your physical potential:
The fact is, most people aren't observant, and those who are just don't care. And if they did, what would happen? They'd give you a dirty look? Even in this worst case scenario, you can find validation in this judgment, and work on projecting the confidence that you need to make your gaining experience the best possible.
And that is my keyword for this point: confidence. You have to perceive yourself not as a thin guy who doesn't know how to dress. You're a fat guy who's growing into his body, and it's only natural that he looks chubby in his clothes. Push yourself to recognize who you are, because once you see yourself as a fat man, it becomes much easier to show the world that you are a fat man.
Is That It?
Of course not, there are plenty of things to learn on your gaining journey. But until you embrace what makes you fat, let go of the alternative, and show off your hard work, you'll be held back from creating your truest self in both your consciousness, and in real life.
We have the pleasure and the burden of being unable to change to our ideal self without hard work. We can't hide what we're up to, only our motives. As you continue to grapple with how big you want to be, remember to enjoy it. Eat some good food, throw on a tight shirt now and then.
You're a growing guy. It's not merely okay to show it, but it's best that you do.
Comments
Post a Comment