It Really Is Your Body

(Originally published in Orbital Zine Issue Five)

These are both equally my body.

In this anti-fat world of ours, it is easy to accept the fantastical reasoning that your weight is THE dominating variable in your health. When something goes wrong in a gainer’s life, the gainer may sadly declare, “This is it. It’s finally caught up with me. It’s over.” But it’s not over. You are allowed to take care of your health. You are allowed to be fat and take care of your health. You are allowed to be fat and have health problems and take care of your health. You are allowed to be fat and choose how much to care for your health.

As we become fatter, we discover new restrictions. Some are natural: we find that gravity slows us down more, that we cannot bend in certain directions, and that we struggle to go as long without eating. Some restrictions are imposed upon us: we trespass on typical clothing sizes, spill out into the next airplane seat, overwork furniture, and so on.

Consider the reactionary perspective on health: a thin person with sleep apnea is unlucky; a fat person with sleep apnea should be chided for their bad decisions. I’m here to say 1) none of their business, 2) who cares, and 3) when it comes to health, you just can’t know all the variables, such as:

• What you put in your body

• Your exercise

• Your access to regular quality health care

• How much money you have

• Your genetics

• Your weight

Doctors often help, but even they cannot fully illuminate how each part of your unique history contributes to your health. Maybe you decide to exercise more and gain 50 more pounds. Maybe you take a medication. Maybe you lose some weight. Treatment plans are not inscribed in stone tablets. 

To my gainer readers, gaining may mean increased confidence, self-actualization, sexual satisfaction, forging a healthy relationship with food, and more. To reap such benefits, you may have to make some trades. You cannot balloon to 400 pounds and keep your slim looks. You can’t get too fat to run and be a competitive runner. You can’t become a 5XL and shop exclusively at H&M. And some people may not be able to gain and maintain low blood pressure without medication.

Even if it was the madness of Eros started you on the gaining or encouraging journey, you have exercised courage by even considering it. The world doesn’t want you to do this to yourself or the people you fatten, but you are here, self-determining with a conviction many people would envy. You know the world won’t choose what makes you happiest on its own. Is it worth some inconveniences? Some risks? You always stand on the brink of the next decision. Choose it. It’s your body.